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December 31 of the last day of the yearthree hundred and sixty-six days have gone past ever since this year began, and many memories took the space within the ethereal side of myself. all the twelve months of this year, some were great, others were depressing...
entering the year of 2008, i as well entered the 4th year of secondary school, which began with the introduction of some new faces which in the past did not enter our class before (to this i meant the teachers) of all of them, the best of all (and possible undeniable) is known as pn.khoo, and i gave her the title of 'the elven queen', for she indeed looked like an elf, with pointy ears and short stature...
all maths (and add maths classes, beginning 11th february 2008, after the incident on january which saw the ousting of mr.ragu) could be described with the words such as enjoyable, understandable, coupled up with her feminine personality and care, all of us liked her so much, to such an extent that most of us looked forward to her classes, and i hoped that the next year shall be the same as well.
at other times, she also functioned (literally) as a counselor and an advisor.. in reference to the card-playing incident on the 13th november, she asked us not to play with money while playing card, but in fact card-playing of any way is against the rules. also another thing in reference to show that she is also some sort of protector happened on the 7th november 2008. that day, i was having some trouble in dealing with something, without any second thought she came to my assistance and ultimately got me out of this mess.
besides, she also had a great sense of humour, as noted at her birthday party on the 26th july 2008. though initially warned us not to even think of anything funny against her that day, ultimately appreciated our gratitude and heart for preparing such a party. almost all of her classes were filled with kaughter, as there would be some sort of jokes behind the lessons...
in conclusion, pn.khoo is one of the few teachers who is able to bring extremely good memories to all (or most) the students she teaches.. and i hope so in 2009... as well with so many great teachers who left this year(notably mr.bong and pn.phang) i do hope she will not leave before we does... (quite greedy)
higher forms also marked higher expectations. as one of the students in one of the best classes, naturally i was expected, like others, to perform well both academically and in cocurriculum. though i had succeeded in the first, i nearly failed the second. immersing myself too much on the side of knowledge pursuing, i forsook the fun of sprts and all others.. hence shaping an extremely conservative character of myself... i admit, i made a "trade" which can be deemed as unnatural, as in exchange of knowledge, i forsook the relations, mindset, behaviour of myself, thus causing fear and dislike among some others.
the strain could be felt beginning of april, as the syllabus began to demand more and more from us, and i almost couldnt hold it. it was not until the holidays in may that i felt a brief respite to regroup my spirits to prepare for another semester of pursuit, which would be even more difficult and taxing. i had expected myself could not withhold the extreme pressure, and yet amongst impossible odds, i managed to go through this with an extremely big smile...
the story which i wrote has been completed for the 1st book, and is currently in my cousins hand for their reading (in fact, i inadvertantly left it by mistake) and im beginning on the 2nd book, while planning for the 3rd... one of my resolutions for the next year is the completion of the trilogy...
as for relationships, though i have not officially began one nor end one, i nonetheless observed 3 linear relations, all of them met their endgame, the latest in the month of december... i saw through their tears, their grief, their efforts of maintaining it without avail, their stress, and ultimately their shyness after the end when they meet... until i began to fear for them, that they would be affected and ultimately taking the toll on their studies... even i myself was not spared from that fate... true, my skills and writing skills have been greatly refined throughout the year in terms of the language and elegance, but it also shaped my personality as eccentric, enigmatic and reclusive, as the style is unique and opposed to the general way of writing, leading to many people failing to comprehend my words or message.... as well as the titles of peoples, while some proved to be suitable for their character, some are considered insult and extreme, especially my titles to pn.ting (as mentioned before in 1 post, i had 11 ways of addressing her and all of them pertaining the terms of death)...
all this, coupled with the flame in my heart which is the source of my perseverance, had made many feared me in a way.. and ultimately the light of the moon denied my sight and devotion... as a starfall from the eyes sealed my current fate, as the winds around me turned cold. twice in this year i have been denied, though indirectly, and i could not farm for the next.. while many spoke for my defence, yet the ones i hoped the most did not do so, much to my utter disappointment. my heart grew cold, and i despaired, nearly succumbed to the rage that has been burning in me constantly since long ago...
however what right do i possess to claim for it? twice on the occasion i did something wrong against her, some will know, while others will not; twice on the occasion i used her as a sword and shield for me to achieve my targets or to allow myself to get out of trouble... twice on the occasion in order to prove my astery and prowess, i took the liberty of... with all these sins coupled up, what right do i have to win it, the heart of one and no other? i could just answer in one guess: none! none at all!
it is of no wonder.. that the end of this year brought me peace, who was utterly tormented throughout the holidays by boredom and desolation. while defense of the ancients and the legend of the order trilogy killed almost one third of my time, i could not figure out on how to kill the rest, except for the three days spent with my 2 cousins, that could be said as the best of the best times i spent during the holidays (swimming, playing games and watching their performances)... only five days left for now, and i looked forward to the light that beams of the darkness surrounding me...
fianlly, i do believe that everyone had made their resolutions for the incoming year of 2009.. and for those who are taking government examinations next year, id est. pmr or spm... one of their resolutions will be scoring well in their exams...
as for me, excluding the wish for excelling in spm, my new year resolutions would be:
1) spend as much time as possible with friends, notably the order of the five with the remaining 300 days, as the next year may be the last year i see them, as they are among the best friends i could seek for, and i could not be so greedy as to wish for more. also included in this resolution are .... (i dun wan to mention it, as by now the whole world would have known it)
2) leave down a legacy for the juniors via the knowledge i have coveted throughout the years, as well as refining my skills of writing and to finish the trilogy of the legend of the order. the last year must be my year to shine everything i have.. as after then, i do not think that i will have the chance to do so again until death calls me
3) as in the japanese song "destiny--taiyou no hana" (the opening for anime 'blackjack 21'), i do hope i could learn the way of how to care for the others, as throughout the years i practically lacked it. with so many people speaking for my defence, even though some do not express it in front, i feel myself as an ingrate for not appreciating them, sometimes even humiliated, scolded, abused words at them. i wanted to redeem my own darkened soul by repaying their gratitude, before the period of the 300 days ends...
while one is enveloped with the tides of darkness,
which encircled him with a whole year of bad luck,
do not fret, do not despair,
as no matter what, dawn shall come again, and it shall.
just as the year of 2008 darkened with the onset,
of numerous crisis despairing the hearts of many,
suicide, surrender, and all thoughts of depression,
give yourself a brief respite, and reinvigorate yourself,
joy to the coming of 2009!
may this end of the last post of 2008 be a new beacon of dawn for the year of 2009, happy new year! -- the archknight... December 05 of the middle of the holidaysat last i got some time to make my first post of the last month of this year... it is now the middle of the endyear holidays and about 31 days left back to school... feeling both excited and sad.. excited because im looking forward for more knowledge to enter my brain; sad because from beginning of next year, the 330-days countdown will begin, as it will be the last year of the school. (as discussed in the post did on 8th november)
unfortunately it is just the beginning of december, 30 more days of torture and im desperate to find methods to literally kill time.. the loneliness and free without work is killing me at any rate! anyway, i took most of this time to complete the first story of mine.. with a rate of 1 chapter per day, each chapter spanning 5-8 pages. (long?? i think not enough) and it was completely at about 1 am on thursday, even though im not quite happy with the ending, i still felt that it is an accomplishment.
now that it is done, im going to start the 2nd book anytime soon, latest by next week. this time i planned to write to up to 220 pages of length (about 26 pages more than the first), spanning 30 chapters. already i got the synopsis ready to move on. (one of the best means to kill time, besides going to vacation or attending meetings and gaming)
20 days have gone past since the holidays started, and i could only mentioned one thing -- im beginning to miss all of you people. and it struck me that many people tends to only miss things or people only when they are no longer at your side... somehow true. for during school days i used to disregard them or even ignore them at times, however ironically now that i don't see the faces, i started to think of them and recalling their voices every night.. as for the five, the high master somehow got a part-time job for the holiday, while others... most likely gaming (the archduke hunting love songs, dont know for wht reason)
as there is nothing much to be written about, i will only share my thoughts throughout the first half of the holidays.... it is a time of peace and quiet, free from stress and work, to do practically anything you desired, i thus took the advantage to refine my writing skills, as well as strengthening my mastery of algebra and calculus.. (although for this week i haf become lazy) maybe i should go buy some book to read, or get more pen and foolscap papers.. so that these two things will not run out whenever im writing a chapter halfway, just as pn.khoo the elven queen mentioned, "always prepare a spare one, in the case of your books going to finish, you can immediately continue your work without less or delay of time.."
even though so, one can never do the same thing all the while without stopping. (sigh) probably i will have to alternate between story-writing and gaming, but gaming also will soon not be possible, as im d/l-ing the silroad client for the upcoming expansion update... thus i guess, stuck to the same thing.... hopefully, the 2nd story (entitled: "The Legend of the Order 2: Tales of the Southern Seas" ) can be completed before chinese new year, with the rate of one chapter per day.... |
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